Aaron Rodgers slayed the dragon but felt a peculiar pang of emptiness.
When Rodgers and the Packers defeated the Steelers 31-25 in Super Bowl XLV in early 2011, the star quarterback had exorcised the chip on his shoulder, which began when he wasn’t offered a Division I scholarship out of high school and continued with his infamous draft-day slide.
In the Netflix documentary “Aaron Rodgers: Enigma,” which debuts on Tuesday, Rodgers reflected on the dichotomy in which he had accomplished his lifelong dream but didn’t feel the sense of fulfillment he felt would accompany the triumph.
Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews of the Green Bay Packers hold the Lombardi Trophy after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25 during Super Bowl XLV at Cowboys Stadium on February 6, 2011 in Arlington, Texas.Getty Images
“It was a special night, but kind of weird what happened afterwards. There wasn’t a great party,” Rodgers said in the documentary. “You’re kind of exhausted, you’re sitting on the bus. It’s 1 in the morning. You just accomplished the greatest thing ever. You’re like, ‘Damn that was cool, now what?’”
“Now I’ve accomplished the only thing that I really, really wanted to do in my life. Now, what? I was like, ‘Did I aim at the wrong thing, or did I spend too much time thinking about stuff that ultimately doesn’t give you true happiness?’”
He said that the off-the-field opportunities, like endorsement deals such as the famous State Farm campaign, caused a “whirlwind” and also alluded to the infamous strife that he has had with his family.
“I enjoyed my private life, but winning the Super Bowl changed all of it,” Rodgers said.
Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers celebrates after winning Super Bowl XLV against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Cowboys Stadium on February 6, 2011 in Arlington, Texas.Getty Images
“Enigma” was produced by Religion of Sports in conjunction with Skydance Sports and NFL Films.
“I was really struggling with who I was and who I wanted to be,” Rodgers continued.
“Dealing with success is one of the greatest teachers in life, because it can knock you on your ass a bunch, make you question a lot of things, make you try and figure out who you are. I was definitely looking for other ways to kind of fill up that hole inside. It’s something I wrestled with for many, many years. I had this feeling like, ‘OK, is this going to be the only thing I ever accomplish in life? Can I love myself if this is all I’ve ever done?’”
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers (12) walking off the field after being tackled by Detroit Lions linebacker Landon Johnson.AP
This pang kickstarted a spiritual journey for Rodgers in which he explored different methods of faith and ultimately journeys with the psychedelic drug ayahuasca to discover his identity and inner peace.