“It’s, like, detached from the body and everything!” Joy Behar exclaimed. “Just out there!”

This is a public service announcement from the ladies of The View: Men, please stop sending your nude pictures to women.

The hosts dove into the topic of unwanted phallic pictures while discussing Catherine Zeta-Jones’ recent revelation that she gave her hubby, Michael Douglas, a photo of herself naked for his birthday.

“There are two rules to nudes: Never do them digitally — so it has to be a Polaroid that you only give to your partner, because everything lives online forever,” Alyssa Farah Griffin said. “The second is: Men want to receive them from their female partner. Women do not want to receive them from their male partner. That’s just a fact!”

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‘The View’
Joy Behar agreed. “Men have this idea that a flying Mr. Happy is something we want to see!” she said. “It’s, like, detached from the body and everything. Just out there!”

Meanwhile, Ana Navarro noted a much easier way to get a man’s attention than sending him a scantily clad selfie. “Men are so simple, right?” she said. “And it’s so easy to make them happy, really. All you have to do is give them sex. You don’t have to give them a picture! You give them birthday sex…”

When Behar chimed in to ask what to do if you don’t feel like having sex —even if it is on a birthday — the general consensus among her costars was that it was a fine time to do the deed.

Sara Haines added that men, like Zeta-Jones, can find it difficult to find a present for their partner each year if the couple has been together a while. “I literally linked to what I wanted for Christmas last year because Max [Shifrin, her husband] is not a big gift giver. It was to these sweet, sensible girl short panties,” she said. “He got me a box of thongs.”

A teasing Griffin then interjected, “He’s sending you a signal!” To which Haines responded, “Those are not functional!”

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Joy Behar on ‘The View’
 

Navarro then asked Behar for her husband Steve Janowitz’s birthday so that she can remind her of the birthday sex rule when it comes around next year.

“Well, I would send a nude picture of myself, but it would have to be from a drone,” Behar said through laughter. “I mean, I will take an X-ray picture and I have to wear a coat, okay?”

“But didn’t you guys meet at a nudist…?” Navarro asked, at which point Behar slammed her hand on the table.

“Everybody knows this story at this point,” Behar said. “It was a semi-nudist colony, if you want to call it that — it was a singles retreat. It was semi-nudist because he was naked and I wasn’t.”

“Because you know what I always say, and I’ll say it again,” she added. “For a man to see me naked, I have to be in his will.”